i have 364 days...

to finish these projects!

ha!

Stockings.

Love the shape and style of these, not the fabric.

We need new matching stockings...

we only had 2 this year...

Love these stocking holders.

Love the pictures!

Yet again we only had two this year...

These easy, precious, too cute ornament

wreaths have been found all over blogland...

and I love them!

Gotta make one!

I better get busy...

Christmas plans? What plans?

i really planned on putting bows on the gifts under the tree.

i also planned to make nametags for the gifts under the tree.

i planned on getting Alan a few more gifts...that never got bought.

i didn't plan on being on-call for work this Christmas.

i planned to see my family before New Year's Eve.

i really planned on making a bow for the top of our tree.

i didn't plan on all three of us being sick all week.

i didn't plan on getting home at 9:45 last night.
i didn't plan on Rowan being asleep when we got home.

i planned on reading him the Christmas story before bedtime.

i planned to take pictures of Rowan leaving cookies and milk for Santa.

i planned on starting my Christmas shopping early...
and being done by now.

i planned on cooking a big breakfast this morning...
but i was in bed until 10:00.

i planned on playing with Rowan all day...
instead we all three slept almost all day.

i planned on making peanut butter balls.
maybe by next weekend?

i didn't plan on eating Chinese take-out for Christmas night supper.

but so it goes.

that's life.

and I am trying to be okay with it.

Now that I am a mom I am realizing I have to let
go of some things...

On a sidenote...we have had a wonderful day anyway.
Having Rowan has really made Christmas fun.
He loved all his gifts.
He is starting to sit up by himself which makes it really
easy for him to play.
So far I haven't been called in.
(Thank you Lord. Just 2 more days and I'll be
done with Christmas call for the next 5 years. I hope.)
We are all feeling a little better, but ready for these colds to pass.
We gotta head out tomorrow and finish our shopping
for Christmas with my family next week.
And hit up a few after Christmas sales too.
I gotta work on making my peanut butter balls.
To heck with making any bows or nametags at this point...

Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!!!

a few people have been asking...

how I make my bows.

My secret is called the Bow-maker.

I am still not very good at it.

I usually make and re-make a bow 

two or three times before I am satisfied with it. 

They have them at Michaels and Hobby Lobby.

It comes with a handy little booklet to show you

how to make all kinds of different bows.

I also have the Mini-Bowdabra

which is good for making hairbows

and smaller bows.

Christmas Eve...

Rowan's first Christmas Eve...
So excited for tomorrow even though he doesn't even have
a clue about what's going on.

We will be at home for Christmas this year
because I am on-call for work starting at 1:00 this afternoon.
Hoping for a really quiet Christmas...

Gage and Rowan

We met up with Lauren, Chris, and Gage last Friday

 night at Cracker Barrel.

Rowan was mesmorized by Gage.

They were so cute together.

Lauren and I have been friends for 12 years now.

From junior year of high school...

to senior year of college...

to marrying our college sweethearts...

and now we both have sweet baby boys!

Rowan's 1st Christmas Tree...

His theme is lime green, red, and green and
little boy stuff.
We bought it last year at Hobby Lobby.
along with some ornaments too.
I added the bow, the berries, the sprigy things
at the top and a few more ornaments this year.
No tree skirt, just some bunched up felt from
Hobby Lobby around the bottom.


Merry Christmas!

FIVE months old!

Here is the monthly picture taken with his lamb.
Love his pose.
So chill.
Getting so big.
Officially weighs 14 pounds today!
Loving some sweet potatoes and carrots!

Christmas Eve Eve...

My sweet boy in his bumbo...
looking so precious.
That face.
Those lips.
Those curls.
Oh boy, momma loves you, so!

We spent today at home.
We are all sick.
Family naptime in our bed.
So sweet.

shopping trip...

to Publix this week!
Loving the savings!

Our Christmas Card 2009!

I haven't sent out cards for the past 2 years

because I just simply never got around to it.

This year I really wanted to send some with

it being Rowan's first Christmas.

So I let Alicia McDonald take

the picture, create the card, order the cards,

and mail them to my house.

All I had to do was address them and put stamps on them!

That's what I am talking about!

(The card has an irridescent finish on it, so it didn't

scan very well.)

I wanted to send them out to everyone,

but I couldn't so I thought I would share it here.

My goal was to get them out by Dec. 11th

and I got them out Dec. 12th!

Trust me...I have not been on the ball with

anything else this year.

We still haven't finished our shopping! 

The picture was taken at his 4 month photo shoot.

Alicia does a fabulous job!

Our little man is 5 months old today!

He tried baby food for the first time tonight!

He loves sweet potatoes!

Spent $12, Saved 40!!!

at Publix.

Alan accompanied me on this trip.

When we got to the checkout he said he was a little

embarrassed by the stack of coupons I handed the cashier.

But when she gave me my receipt

and told me my savings that day he said

he couldn't be any prouder.

Before I started couponing I shopped at Wal-mart

or Kroger for groceries because I thought they were the

cheapest. Now I mainly shop at Publix.

I have found that the sales at Publix are much better.

Jenny at Southern Savers did a comparison

of Publix, Kroger, and Walmart on her blog this week

and I am not at all surprised at what she found.

I also thought that buying toiletries at Wal-mart

was the cheapest way to go.

But now I buy the majority of our toiletries

at CVS and Walgreens.

They have the best deals!!!

4 months old.

I take a picture of him with his lamb on the 20th of every month.
I'm a little behind on posting this one.
He will be 5 months old soon!
He has his 1st Thanksgiving outfit on in this too.
Getting big!

elvis lip!

hilarious.

Rowan update!

He is doing great!

We changed him from Zantac to Prevacid
this past Tuesday because we felt like
the Zantac wasn't working.

And boy, are we glad we did.

He is eating better.
(I think he is already over 14 pounds!)
Going to sleep easier.
Taking 2 hour naps.
Smiling more.
Cooing and laughing all the time. So precious.
Spitting up less.

We are all happier!

Thank you Lord!

mine.

Sweet Rowan.
I heart you more everyday.

i love free stuff...

I got all this stuff for free at CVS on Monday!!!
This is how...
I spent 34 dollars on Black Friday and got 26 ExtraCare
Bucks (ECB) back. (They are like instant cash.)
So my trip Monday would have costed me 36.93...
but I shopped sales, then I had coupons for every sale item,
then I had a 5 dollar off 15$ purchase from the
bottom of a receipt and my ECBs.
So, my grand total, get this, was 1.28...and that was TAX!
Can you say excited!

I started couponing seriously a few weeks ago and am loving it!

My favorite stores are now Publix, Walgreens, and CVS.

I have learned alot about all of it, but I have so much more to learn.

These are my favorite sites so far.
www.southernsavers.com
www.iheartpublix.com
www.hip2save.blogspot.com

These awesome ladies do the homework for you!
Their websites are full of wonderful deals, coupons,
store sale ads, and more!

I spent 30 dollars at Publix on Monday and saved 50 dollars.
I came home with bags and bags of stuff.

I would love to hear how y'all save money!
I would also love any other sites you may use to help
your family save money!

curly-hawk...

our boy has a mohawk most days.

a curly mohawk.

a curly-hawk as we call it.

and it is simply adorable.

Rowan visits Santa...

A few weeks ago we took Rowan to see Santa at Bass Pro.

He was captivated by him.

I love how Santa is holding Rowan's paci just so.

He took it upon himself to remove it for the picture.

I just loved that Santa.

He wore a gold cross around his neck to remind everyone

the REAL meaning of Christmas!

Giving thanks for...

my husband.

our sweet baby boy.

my family.

my friends.

our jobs.

our apartment.

our cars.

our health.

our access to healthcare.

our freedom.

the U.S. of A!

food on our table.

clean water to take a bath.

glasses and contacts to help me see.

warmth on winter nights.

cool air on summer days.

clothes on our backs and in our closets.

our nice cozy bed.

emotions and passions.

laughter and joy.

the beauty of the Earth.

God's GRACE in abundance.

God's many, many blessings.

A.R.

As in Acid Reflux.

So I felt like Rowan has been especially fussy here lately.
He has been spitting up since he was 3 days old, but
here lately it has been much more frequent.
He was having difficulty nursing.
Some days he was totally not interested in eating.
I could hear his stomach rumbling around at feeding time.
He wasn't taking good naps.
Evenings around here were hard because Rowan is
inconsolable due to tummy troubles.
He even looked smaller to me.

I knew something wasn't right...

On Monday as I was reading Babywise it was confirmed
that Rowan may have AR.
There is a chapter in the book that talks about stomach issues.
I was reading scenarios of several different children.
One of them was about a little boy named Asher.
And well, he and Rowan could be twins.


So I text Alan really quick to tell him I am calling Rowan's
peditrician to ask what we should do, etc.
We take Rowan to see Dr. Smith on Tuesday morning.
He says "Yes, that is acid reflux and we need to go ahead and
start treating him."
He also explained that all the above problems are because of the reflux issue.
We also found out that Rowan only weighs 12 pounds, 4 ozs.
He should weigh at least 13 pounds, 8 ozs. according to Dr. Smith.
Poor baby hasn't been keeping enough down to gain weight.

Now we are on Zantac twice a day.
We go back to see Dr. Smith next week.
I'm praying for relief for Rowan and some weight gain too.
Pray with me please!

Operation Christmas Child

Alan and I saw this video at church a few Sundays ago...

and it brought us both to tears.

It is so amazing what these simple-to-us shoe boxes

can mean to a precious child!

We couldn't wait to go out and fill up some boxes!

We put together a boy box...

and a girl box.

And we had a ball!

If you haven't already made a box (or two) I encourage you to do so!

Details can be found here.

God is using this ministry to reach children

all around the world for Him!

What an awesome way to start the holidays off!

oh what a day!

yes, that's me. on my "birth"day!

Today was a fabulous day!
I really can't believe I am 28!!!

Alan took the day off to spend with me!
I got to sleep until 9:00.
Opened my cards and presents. Sweet!
Got lots of birthday phone calls! :)
Some that made me laugh out loud!
We went to Chick-fil-a for lunch.
We went to Publix, Walgreens, and CVS for
my couponing deals. (More on that later).
We looked at a house.
We went to Mikata's in Macon. YUM!
Then we took Rowan to see Santa at Bass Pro Shops!

Nothing spectacular, but totally wonderful!

I am so thankful for the life God has blessed me with!
28 is gonna be great!

one year ago today...

We found out Rowan was on the way!!!

I remember feeling shocked, overwhelmed,
and in awe of God's goodness.

I wondered if it was gonna be a girl or a boy.
(Boy, obviously)

I wondered what he or she would look like.

(Never would have imagined a baby so beautiful.)

I wondered what it would feel like to have
a baby moving around inside me.

(Very, very cool, sometimes uncomfortable)

I wondered what labor would feel like.

(Ouch, ouch, ouch and ouch!!!)

I wondered what it would be like
to be a mother.

And now I know.

It's a love and joy that is indescribable.

Thank you God for our sweet baby boy!

You have so richly blessed our lives
by giving us Rowan!

I couldn't imagine life without him.
We love you sweet Rowan!

i-could-eat-him-with-a-spoon

I can't get enough of this chubby little face.

His cheeks.

His lips.

His fuzzy, crazy hair.

His sweet baby smell.

can't believe...

we are having 4 month pictures done tomorrow!

my man!

ain't he cute!

the fog is lifting...

my precious boy!

So, now that I am actually feeling better about

life I feel like I can share what has been going on...

Immediately after I had Rowan I was on cloud 225...

so in love...

in awe...

and overwhelmed with this beautiful baby boy God had given us.

I felt like this for about two weeks.

And then...

I fell from cloud 225 to cloud -225.

While I was still in love,

in awe,

and overwhelmed I became

some other not-so-pleasant things too...

I cried all the time.

I never wanted to be alone.

But I felt all alone. Like no one had ever felt like this before.

I stopped laughing.

I had thoughts like...

What were we thinking?

What was God thinking?

I so wasn't ready for all this.

Why in the world would anyone do this to themselves more than once?

My life is over.

Our life is over.

Will it ever be any easier?

I just can't do this.

I miss the simple times.

I just don't have what it takes.

I just need a break. from everything.

I want to get away from this baby.

I became very hard to live with.

I wanted Alan close by physically, but I pushed him away emotionally.

I was anxious.

Stressed.

And very easily frustrated. By anything, and anyone.

I started to resent Alan for enjoying things.

I just became a hot mess.

I don't know if it was postpartum depression.

I don't know if it was hormones.
I don't know if it was normal.
I don't know if it was a combination of hormones and normal.

But I hated it.

Oh, it was horrible.
Terrible.
Awful.

I hated myself like that.

I am so glad the fog is lifting...

I am feeling like me again.
I am feeling like life is so much better with Rowan.
Like our life is just beginning...
I am laughing again.
Alot actually. At myself. Because I act so dumb sometimes.
I am hugging (and kissing) my hubby again.
I cherish my off days with my little man.
And miss my boys like crazy while I am at work.
I am stressing less and anxious less.
I hope I am easier to live with...Alan will need to vouch for that.
I can now think about having another one...down the road of course.
I have accepted that we can still go and do...it might just take longer.
I am sooo thankful that God chose us to be Rowan's parents.

And, now, I can't imagine it any other way!

P.S. Please don't feel like I am horrible!

tonight...

it was the simple things...

coming home to my boys.
bath time.
nursing my sweet boy!
bedtime with no tears! yay!
straightening up.
unloading the dishwasher.
loading the dishwasher.
peeking on my sweet boy as he sleeps in
his crib.
washing bottles and pump parts.
making pimento cheese.
burning my autumn wreath candle.
really, really cold diet sprite.
folding Rowan's itty-bitty clothes.
facebook time.
blog time.
anticipating the sweet reunion of good
friends tomorrow.
and soon bedtime!

and I enjoyed every minute of it!

my favorite...

two boys!

My how I have grown...

One month!

Two months!

Three months!


And everyday we love you more sweet boy!

Rowan would like to say...

"I'm so proud of my Aunt Paige!"

And I am so proud of my older sister.
A commitee at her school voted her "Teacher of the Year"!
She is also a student again herself.
She is working towards getting her Masters degree.
I don't know how she juggles being a mom,
a wife, a teacher and a student.
Not to mention all the things she is involved in at church.

But she does it well!

Way to go Paige!

We love you!

We had the perfect outfit to take a picture for Paige!

Her school colors are red and baby blue!

Happy Pumpkin Day!

Yes, I did it. I made Halloween cards! :)
Since most of our friends and family live out of town
and won't be able to see Rowan in his cute little

giraffe costume I figured Halloween cards

would be perfect.

Have a great weekend...

&

Happy Pumpkin Day!

gettin the hang of it.

He only cried 3 minutes tonight...and hasn't woken up yet.

Sweet!

I'm off to bed!

wow...

A FULL NIGHTS SLEEP!

REVOLUTIONARY!

Sweet boy slept from 8-5!!!

I was totally scared to go check on him this morning.

We are listening to him cry right now.
It isn't as easy today because I worked...
and I haven't spent much time with him.
I so want to go scoop him up and squeeze him.

BUT,

I can do this!
Consistency is key!

And thanks so much for the sweet, encouraging words!
A lurker even came out of hiding...Hi Paula!

Just thought I would blog it!
One, to remember this day.
And two, to keep me busy for a while...

And oh, this precious face.
He is truly "eat-able", as my dad says!

sleep or the lack of...

well, i haven't really written much about my
experiences as a mother. today i was thinking back
over Rowan's short life and feeling like i need to be
documenting more.

mom always says "you're gonna miss this" and
"it won't be like this for long".

and well...she is right.

so, Rowan, my beautiful baby boy,
drives me crazy
sometimes.

and this is why...

last night for example.

he fell asleep in my arms at 8:00.
i layed him down in his crib at 9:00.
at 10:00 he woke up.
he was awake till 11:00.
then up at 12:45.
then back down till 3:00.
then up at 5:00.
then up at 7:00.
then up for good at 8:00.

i'm exhausted people.

so today we started "crying it out".
before today i have thought it was awfully cruel
for a mother to let her child cry.
especially for 45 minutes.
well, that was awfully judgmental of me.
sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

so i noticed him rubbing his eyes and acting sleepy
around 11:15. i layed him down in his crib.
He cried until 12:10 then fell asleep.
He slept for 25 minutes.

The again around 2:00 he looked sleepy again.
He cried until 2:25. Then slept for 25 minutes.

Then this evening he cried for 13 minutes when i layed
him down. And he slept...i don't know how long.
Not enough time for me to finish the corn chowder
i was making.

Tonight after his bath and lotion and pjs,
i rocked him for 2 minutes and layed him down.

He cried less than one minute.
But then he was up an hour later.
Instead of rescuing him, I reassured him.
And he went back to sleep on his own.

It is 10:00 and this apartment is silent
except for the clanking of the keys as I type this.

Motherhood can be oh, so hard sometimes.
I feel like I don't have a clue what I am doing.
I just don't feel like I am good enough for Rowan.
"Mom guilt" haunts me.

Anyways, I better get to bed.
Who knows when he will be up again.
My beautiful baby boy who i am crazily in love with.

precious boy!

i love spending my days off with you!

homemade hot chocolate!

There is a cool crispness in the air this morning!
It is beautiful and I love it!
Just got a text from Alan that he killed a deer!
That's good for two reasons...
it's opening day of rifle season, and
that means he is one less away from his limit.
Meaning the quicker he kills his limit the less
he is gone from this house.
Oh to be married to a deer hunter!

Anyways...
what I am looking forward to today...
A big mug full of homemade hot chocolate.
A girl from work made the mix and gave it out
at Christmas last year.
It is absolutely the best hot chocolate I have
ever sipped!

Enjoy!

Rich & Creamy Cocoa Mix

¾ cup powdered nondairy creamer
½ cup nonfat dry milk powder
½ cup of milk chocolate chips
¼ cup granulated sugar
¼ cup packed brown sugar
3 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
1/8 teas.salt

Combine all ingredients in a bowl, mix well.
Place in 1 pint food storage jar with tight fitting lid.
Lightly pack down.

Here are the directions for the gift tags...

1 jar of Rich & Creamy Cocoa mix
6 cups of boiling water
Place cocoa mix in medium saucepan.
Add water, stiruntil mix and chocolate chips are melted.
Makes 8 servings.

Now off to make a big breakfast and enjoy
time with my sister, my nephews, and

this precious little boy!

12 weeks tomorrow...

my thoughts for you, sweet boy!

my precious boy.

i want to memorize your face.

each crinkle.

and wrinkle.

the way your eyes dance when you smile.

your coos.

your giggles.

your precious hands.

precious feet.

your quirky ears.

beautiful lips.

the cries.

the tears.

i never want to forget.

your smell.

your soft skin.

the hilarious little faces you make.

i could stare at you forever.

hold you in my arms.

dreaming big dreams for you.

help me always remember.

having him...

makes life so much more fun!

I am not much on Halloween, but having
Rowan has made me more excited about it!
He has 4 halloween outfits that we bought
last year before we even knew he was on the way!
Not to mention the cutest costume
that I bought at none other than Walmart in August!
Two weeks after Halloween last year we found out
I was pregnant...so we all know what that means! :)

For Aunt Maggie in San Diego!

We love you and miss you lots!

life

life is hard...get a helmet.

i need a helmet!

what's up with me...

Other than nursing, changing, rocking, burping,
and adoring our baby boy I have been
goodwill-ing, cooking, sewing, and shopping!

Goodwill-ing.

I love to frequent Goodwill. It's like a treasure hunt. I put
Rowan is his stroller and off we go.
A few weeks ago I bought him 11 outfits
for 18.00. Three of the outfits are pictured below. I am not fond of the dinosaur on the second
jon-jon, so I am in the process of removing
the applique. I am either gonna have it
monogrammed or put some other type
of applique on it. Still can't beat paying $1.50 for it!

This Tuesday I found one of these plates.
I already have one, so I gave it to my mom.
It is a Southern Living Dress-me-Up Plate.
This picture was taken at one of my baby showers
(that I never blogged about).
By the way, this is the third one I
have bought at Goodwill.

I got this cute little wire basket with
these glass cups in it last week too.
I figure it is multi-functional.
Flowers, pens, pencils, buttons, candy, ...etc.

Cooking.

This salmon and couscous recipe is delicious.

Super healthy and super easy!

I saw Bobby Deen making this on Paula's Home Cooking.
I was proud that I introduced Alan to a food

he has never had. He loved it!

Also, that sweet polka dotted platter.
I ordered that when Rowan was a few days old
and I was having a rough day.
It is adorable!


Here is the buffalo chicken dip.
It was spicy...a little too spicy for baby boy...
but I ate some anyway.
It was a little salty, but good with Ritz chips!
If I make it again I will alter the recipe!

Sewing...

My friend Tara from work had a sweet
baby girl two weeks ago. I whipped these
up so I would have a little gift to take
her when we went to visit.

I also made Rowan a Christmas burp cloth.
I have bought fabric to make some Halloween ones.
Black and orange polka dots (pictured above)
and black with pumpkins.
I better get on the ball it is October 3rd already!

Shopping.
I love Walmart. I have found the
cutest outfits for Rowan there lately.
The great thing about it...they are only FOUR dollars!
And they are baby blue...which I love for my baby boy!

Etsy has pulled through for me again...
I ordered these waterproof vinyl stickers
a few weeks ago. I put them on
all of Rowan's bottles and pacifiers.
I thought they would be great for daycare.
Well...they were great for the
day and a half he was in daycare.
I will share our horror story
about that sometime later. (Maybe.)
I am trying to forget the experience right now.
Rowan will be staying with Ms. Laura
starting on Monday. So far...she has
already been a blessing!

So, I went back to work on September 25th.
Rowan stayed with Alan for my first day back
to help with the transition.
I cried all the way to work...and when I got to work.
Alan took him to Bass Pro for the first time.
He bought him a camoflauged pacifier.
I think it's cute that Alan took him, and even cuter
that Alan bought him something to remember the trip.
He even brought him to see me around 1:00.
Just what I needed to get me through the day!
They had a great day together.

Going back to work was/is very hard.
I hate leaving Rowan.
When I get to work I get busy so the
day will go by fast. I am so thankful I am only
away from him 3 days a week.
Alan has been doing a great job with him
in the afternoons. He picks him
up between 3:30 and 4:00.
It has been great to be back around
my work friends and to be back taking care of patients.
I am thankful for a great job, great co-workers
and a great boss.

Well, right now I am in Alabama.
Rowan and I came over on Friday morning.
We went to a really nice consignment sale this morning.
I got Rowan 14 outfits for 85 dollars!
Consignment sales are fun!

Well, I better get to bed.
Rowan will be waking me up again soon...
Night!