First.

I really wanted to write about some new Christmas decorations Alan made us, but

I didn't get home in time to get pictures.

So that will be tomorrows post.

So anyways...

this is Rowan on December 1, 2009.

This picture makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

Happy to see how he has grown and learned so much in one year.

He is absolutely flourishing these days.

But sad to know that time is going by so quickly.

(It is crazy how much I have learned and grown as well!)

Here are a few of my favorite memories of Rowan's First Christmas.

-He was so tiny! We put him in his Bumbo on Christmas morning.

He was just sitting there kicking his legs and looking at his new toys.

-We got our video camera. Alan shot the most precious video of Rowan

laying on his changing table Christmas morning. It makes me cry.

-I went crazy and bought Rowan probably like 14 Christmas outfits.

I loved dressing him up.

-We were in our apartment.

-My mom started Rowan's Christmas ornament collection.

-He had his own tree. I loved walking past his room and seeing

the glow of lights on his tree

-Snuggling my baby boy as he slept on my lap...wondering...

What did Mary feel like when she was holding baby Jesus?

Like the song says...Did she know he had come to save the world?

-Taking Rowan to Bass Pro Shop in Macon to see Santa.

I will never forget how we were all sick and I was on call...

and I was so bummed about all that too.

-Rowan started sitting up on his own.

I can't wait to see what I will be reflecting on next year.

whew....

and ahhhhhh....the good kind of ahhhhhh....

what a relief it is/was to get all that off my chest and out of my heart. :)

I cannot tell you how much better the past almost two weeks have been for me and
in our home.

There is freedom is confessing our sins one to another.

Thank you for all the sweet, kind e-mails, comments, and texts you sent my way.
Totally made my day(s) and reminded me yet again that I am not alone and indeed, loved.

With all that being said...
I am going to challenge myself to blog everyday in December...
Why, you may ask.
Because I want to document what we are doing this December as we prepare and celebrate Christmas.
And because I am so excited about a BRAND new year.
I plan on blogging about Christmas memories, traditions, decorations, songs, favorites etc.
Then on the 6 days leading up to New Years Day I want to blog about the different things
I want to learn, focus on, accomplish, etc in 2011.

Our church is going to be doing a fast in January. If you know me well...you know I am
not about missing a meal. But I am already praying and preparing for this. And believe it or not
I am so excited about it.

Ok...so...now onto my first December post...

The birthday blog.

Forgot to mention this...

Back in October, Rowan's birthday party was featured on The Birthday Blog.

Thanks Stacy!

thank you God for...

sending your precious son to die for us.

Alan.

Rowan.

our home.

our church.

our friends.

our country.

our mommas, daddys, sisters, grandparents, nephews, etc.

our health.

Your provision. mercy. grace. love. long-suffering.

clean water and too much food.

We are so blessed!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The precious picture is by the fabulous Two Chics.



29 and feeling fine?

disclaimer: i wrote this, not as a sob story, but as a testimony of what God is doing in my life.
not because of where i have been, but where i am going.
as an explanation of the sparse, surfacy posts that have sprinkled my blog over the past year.
and maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who needs this.
(and p.s. not for belated happy birthday wishes).

wednesday was my birthday.

i turned 29.

and i am, oh, so glad 28 is over.

honestly, 28 was a really hard year for me.
i have struggled with postpartum depression.
i have never felt so alone.
i have struggled with probably the lowest self-esteem E-V-E-R. in my life.
i have been very hard to love.
i have struggled with anger and resentment.
as a result of the above, our marriage has struggled.
i have been a very bad friend, wife, sister, daughter...well, you get the picture.
and, yes, i have even thought about taking my own life.

i have, so many times, wanted to sit down and write about what I have been going through...
but some things have always stopped me.
pride, not wanting to admit that I am not perfect, and neither is my life.
the feeling that "so many people have way bigger/more serious problems than me".
thoughts like "no one will understand", "they will think i am crazy", "i should just be thankful
that not only do I have a baby, he is healthy." "i need to just suck it up".
i have felt guilty because I have friends who are struggling with infertility.
not wanting to discourage anyone else.
trying to focus on the postive.
not wanting anyone to feel sorry for me.
listening to people tell me that my feelings were normal.

but yet, all these thoughts and feelings (and lies) have only further isolated me.
and made things even worse.

I went to the doctor.
I prayed about it.
Begged God to take it away.
Begged God to never let me feel this way ever again.
Considered getting counseling.
I took an anti-depressant for a while.

While I wouldn't say I am "healed"...
I would say things are SO much better.
And yes, I realize that some of this was hormone related. 
I am still working through some of the things I mentioned above.
But I feel like another part of me getting better is finally admitting to you, my friends and family,
that I am sooooo not perfect. Which you all knew already. :) haha.
And all this has been hiding behind the "we are doing greats." and "I am doing fines."

I so struggle with being a perfectionist.
But in the worst way.
I hate it about myself.
Really. hate. it.
I always want things to be cleaner. better. prettier. bigger. more creative. etc.
I have a hard time being still, relaxing, and enjoying myself because of it.
I obsess about things that have, not one ounce, of eternal value.
Perfectionism is a happiness killer and a joy stealer.
For me it is a sin, because it seperates me from Him.
And it has wreaked havoc on my life since becoming a mom.

Satan has totally had a stronghold on my messed-up life.

And I am tired. of. it.

i want to be better free.

i want to be real.

i want to come clean before you...like i have done before Him.

Christ was/is perfect for me.

And now...Hello 29!!! It's so nice to see you!

Turnip Green Soup Recipe

TURNIP GREEN SOUP

2 packages (10 ounces each) Turnip Greens (I use frozen without the turnips)

1 package Knorr vegetable soup mix

1 can (about 15 ounces) northern beans

1 can (about 15 ounces) navy beans

1 small onion, chopped

5 cups chicken broth

1 pound smoked sausage, sliced thin (I use turkey kielbasa. It makes it healthier)

1 teaspoon hot sauce

1 teaspoon garlic powder

Salt and pepper to taste

Tony's seasoning to taste

Combine all ingredients in soup pot.

Bring to a boil; reduce heat to a simmer.

Cook until sausage is done.

Serve with cornbread.

I always brown my sausage and onion together in a different skillet.

Then I add it to the pot. You know just to speed things up a bit.

I hope y'all LOVE it as much as we do!

ornaments.

I am already getting in the Christmas spirit.

I am just so excited to have a new house to decorate this year!

When we were growing up mom gave

us an ornament every Christmas.

It is one of our many family traditions.

We used to all dig through the boxes to find "our" ornaments.

She still gives us all an ornament and the grandkids too!

So I said all that to say that I am continuing the tradition for Rowan.

Here are some of the cute ones I found on Etsy!

I love anything monogrammed/personalized!

These are my favorites!

Which one do you like best?

And aren't these dish towels just so adorable!

That little Christmas tree would be precious on a little girls shirt!

Rowan's One Year Pictures

I can't believe Rowan is a couple of weeks away from being 16 months old.

My how time flies!

We took these taken back in August, a few days shy of Rowan turning 13 months old.

It was HOT. Oh, so HOT.  It was 9:00 in the morning and I was pouring sweat!

Thanks to Alicia at Alicia McDonald Photography for once again doing

 such a wonderful job capturing the personality of our sweet, big boy!

fall mini-session sneak peek!

                        You can see a precious picture of Rowan on the Two Chics Photography blog.

Scroll down. He is number 18!

fall.

i. love. this. kid.

 I bought these today at the Dollar Tree. Totally cute.
Gonna make up some Christmas gifts with them.

Add some popcorn, drinks, candy, and a movie or blockbuster gift card. Voila!

My friend Kylie told me about this stuff.

It tastes pretty good to be sugar free.

Totally fall-ish!

FREE candy corn at CVS today!

On sale for 99 cents, and a 99 cents off coupon printed at the Coupon Machine.

Cha-ching!

I made Turnip Green Soup for supper tonight.

Don't knock it, till you try it.

It is delicious. One of Alan's favorites.

Very healthy too!

This is my shopping buddy.

He was sooo good today.

Sometimes he makes me sweat.

Look at that curl, wouldja?

This is a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch we went to in Charleston.

I thought it was hilarious. I instantly smile when I see this picture!

                                           And here's my cutest little pumpkin in the patch!



nap.

anyone who knows me well, knows I love to sleep.

rowan is his mother's child.

today he got on the couch with me and went to sleep. a first.

he is very predictable.

usually three hours after he wakes up in the morning, he is ready to go back to sleep.

I can ask him if he wants to take a nap...and he will get up and run over to the bottom

of the stairs and wait for me to unlock the gate.

it is the most precious thing.

but today, I got the pleasure of watching him fall asleep.

and I got to take a little nap too.

(then i had to lay him down so I could take these pictures.)

 Rowan has a bear that he is very attached too. He usually has the bear in his mouth.

He wallows around on him. Sometimes the bear will be laying in the floor,

and he will literally dive

 into the bear and smoosh his face on his bear.

 He will cry out at night if he can't find him.

those sweet little feet. sock-less, and shoe-less. imagine that!

i love to tickle them. and kiss them.

and imagine all the places they will go.

I am so glad I have these pictures.

My baby boy is growing up.

my big boy.

Rowan,

You are a whopping 14.5 months. Hard to believe.

You love for me to chase you around the house.

You fell asleep on me today...and I just loved it.

I am loving all of your new fall clothes (18 months-24 months). You look so adorable!

You have wild hair...it's the first thing people notice about you. And it's still VERY blonde.

You still will NOT look at the camera.

You are the apple of my eye.

You are the last thing I see when I go to bed, and the first thing

I see when I wake up.

I don't think I could love you any MORE.

You loved the cows at the fair tonight.

You are the BEST sleeper ever. I hope you stay this way! 11 hours at night and

still taking 2, 2 hour naps each day!

But, you wake up crying every morning and after naps? I don't get it?

You try my patience every. single. day.

You have gotten FOUR new teeth in one week.

You have hardly been eating anything lately?

You make the cutest noise when you are pushing your cars around on the floor.

You still love animals!

I don't know what I would do without you, Rowan.

You still love books. and music.

You are very in to pushing your toys over...then you say "Uh-oh".

You are very strong-willed.

You like to rip my magazines, throw freshly folded clothes on the floor,

shake your sippy cup so that milk flies everywhere, take off your shoes, dump out your toys, etc...

all of which drive me bonkers!

Your daddy loves you so. And your duck noise too!

We love you, sweet boy.

Just slow down, and don't grow so stinkin' fast!

today was great because...

- 2 girls I work with asked me about Operation Christmas Child.

- One of my friends gave me some pumpkin-y smelling goodies. Love them!

- It was not MONDAY!

- I was reminded to not take life for granted.

- Rowan gave me a HUG for the first time.

- My sweet friend, Hope, is letting us borrow two of her little boys PRECIOUS outfits.

- As I was singing "This Little Light of Mine" to Rowan as I was getting him ready for bed...

  he held up his little pointer finger. Lord...let his light shine!

- the air was cool and crisp.

- even though I came home to a messy house, at least I got to come home.

- I learned something new.

-my husband took the car to get it serviced. (something I hate to do!)

What was great about your day?

Oh yeah, and one more thing...

you never know who is reading your blog! :)

Operation Christmas Child.

Today, at church, we kicked off Operation Christmas Child.

Last year was the first year we (Alan and I) participated...and let's just say, I loved it!

To get me even more excited about it this year we had the opportunity

to hear a girl give her testimony

about receiving an OCC shoe box when she was in 7th grade.

She is from the country of Belarus. She is 26 years old and now lives in

South Carolina with her husband. She travels around Georgia and South Carolina

telling her story of how OCC changed her life.

 Jamie Hardenbrook, who is the Regional Director for OCC in Atlanta, also spoke.

Here are some statistics he shared tonight. (I wrote them down.) :)

Since 1993, 77 million boxes have been given to children all over the world.

Shoeboxes have been sent to 135 countries.

8.1 million boxes were sent out in 2009 (worldwide).

There are 1.6 BILLION children in the world right now under the age of 14!

From the last statistic you can see that there are many more children to be reached.

So, our coordinator, at our church, is challenging each family in our church to make

ONE more shoebox than they did last year!

We have a church wide goal of 2000 boxes this year!

I have NO CLUE how many people even read my blog...

from the followers on the right, I know there are at least 27 of you, plus my Mom. :)

I want to encourage each of you to make ONE more box than you made last year.

Our church is the drop-off location in Warner Robins.

If you have boxes you want me to drop off, I would love to do it for you!
Collection week is November 15-22.

For more information you can visit the OCC website.

Let's help spread the gospel throughout the world one child at a time!

Rowan's First Birthday

Rowan's first birthday was celebrated on July 24th, 2010.

All of his grandparents and great grandparents attended, as well as, 

his Aunt Paige and Aunt Maggie.

His cousins Taylor and Cade also came!

And last but not least Chris, Lauren and Gage.

Chris took several of these pictures for me.

When I started thinking about Rowan's party

back in early May, I knew I wanted to do red, white, and baby blue. 

I didn't really want to do a theme, or so I thought. 

Well, as I was browsing the internet late one night I saw a red, white, 

and blue sailboat party. 

I just knew that it would be perfect.

Red, White, Blue and sailboats scream July to me!

I also love it because it is very classic and very little boy-ish.

So here are the pictures...finally!

First of all, the precious birthday boy.

We love you so much Rowan!

You are a total joy and the most precious gift we have

ever been given!

You can't see them, but his bubble has sailboats on it!

 

I love the invitations!

I am so glad I decided not to make them. 

The life preserver wreath!

I made this with a straw wreath form.

I pinned the red and white felt to the back of the wreath.

I free handed the banner on a plain white gift box lid.

I printed the words out on Microsoft Word, 

 traced them onto the blue fabric, and painted them

with acrylic paint.

I modge-podged the fabric to the gift box,

then I cut out the banner.

I hot-glued the banner on the wreath.

This is our dining room.

I was originally gonna put the food on this table,

but it made more sense to put it in the kitchen so people

could eat in here.

I made the tablecloth with the help of my sister, Paige.

It's red and white gingham, blue seersucker and white and red polka dots.

I ordered the balloons off of E-bay.

I bought these sailboats for a dollar at Michaels.

They come unpainted and unassembled.

I painted the red and white.

I used blue tissue paper for the "water".

The silver tub was borrowed from my friend Tara!

Here is Rowan's smash cake.

It turned out so very cute!

My sister made this bunting for his highchair.

She used the reverse applique technique for the "R".

This was the big cake!

Delicious pound cake with buttercream icing.

 Sailboat details. Aren't the puffy clouds and waves just precious!

One single candle for my baby boy!

 He wasn't so sure about the cake at first...but then he decided it was good!

The bunting on the mantle!

My sister cut out the triangles and I hot glued them to the jute!

I love this Southern Living at Home plate.

I always change out the ribbon and personalize the message.

Happy Birthday Rowan!

These were the favors!

I used a picture of Rowan on his exact birthday.

We were at the beach!

I made these on picnik.com,

printed them at CVS, and

attached a magnet to the back.

I put them in a cellophane bag and tied them up

with some ribbon.

The grandparents loved them!

I'm linking up to the

and