Monday, May 4, 2009

feeling forgotten...

So, our house has been on the market for almost 365 days...
that equals 1 WHOLE year for those
of you who didn't know that.
And that also means we have been waiting, praying,
and hoping for a year.
And living here for a year.

READY is an understatment of how I feel right now.
Ready to have a place of our own.
Ready to nest.
Ready to finally feel "at home".
Ready to get ready for our baby boy.
Ready to spend lots of quality alone time with Alan.

Alan's sister and her husband have had their house on the market...
for not very long at all...and guess what...they have a contract.

A friend of mine that lives in Kansas had their house for sale by
owner for, get this, ONE day...and guess what...they have a contract.

Now I'm not saying that they weren't ready to sell their homes,
because obviously if you have a house on the market you want it to sell.

I just feel like we are SO MUCH MORE ready.
Neither family is expecting a baby in 11 weeks...
and neither family has been living with their in-laws for almost 10 months.

It's so hard to not be envious, or bitter, or angry.

What are we doing wrong?
Or what did they do right?

It's hard not to question God's plan for us...
Doesn't He know what we are going through...
Doesn't He know that we want to be good stewards of our money...
Doesn't He know the desires of our hearts.

It's so hard to be positive. Optimistic. Hopeful.
It's so hard to NOT worry. not stress. or not be overwhelmed.

Most days I am positive and I sleep well at night.
But some days I just gotta be real with myself.

I'm tired, I'm anxious, I'm frustrated, and I am losing hope.

I can't wait for the day when I can get on this blog and post
the news that our house is under contract...I'm praying it's soon!

And I am mature enough in my faith to know (in my head) that...
God isn't punishing us,
that He is still in control,
that He can still work miracles,
that His promises for us are true.
that He has us here for a reason.

Pray that I can believe all these things in my heart!

Does anybody feel me?
Does anybody have a similar situation?

3 comments:

Shauna said...

Hey honey! Is your house for sale by owner or with a realtor? If it's not with a realtor, get one. If it's with a realtor, switch to a different one.
Are they holding open houses on the weekends? Can you get a realtor that does the virtual home tours with video-pictures for online? Many of my friends have had to do these things to get their house to sale.
The house across the street just sold and it had been for sale for 2years. They switched realtors twice and the realtors held lots of open houses on the weekends with advertising on the main road. It just sold last week.
I'm not sure of the circumstances that have been done with your house but thought I would offer some ideas just in case.

Roxanne said...

I'm waiting for a totally different miracle, but I've asked all the same questions, and wondered of God all the same ponderings.

Hope you get your answer quickly. Supposedly, the waiting is the hardest part!

I love the words to the John Waller song, "While I'm Waiting." Maybe they will comfort you!

The Leinwetters said...

Hollie, maybe I (friend from Kansas) am not the one you want to hear this from but your post has me seeing a whole new meaning to Jeremiah 29:11. It says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

You are an amazing christian woman and I know your faith has been tested this past year. Don't let satan win this one. You can do it!!!!!!!!

Thanks for being so real and honest on your blog. I love you!