Tuesday, July 28, 2009

changed.


that word is all I can think about tonight as I reflect
on the past week of my life.

what has changed you might ask?

my body.
i have several stretch marks below my belly button.
i have boobs filled with milk for my baby boy.
i finally have skinny ankles and narrow feet again.
i have stitches to remind me of the hard work it took to get Rowan here.
i have some extra jiggly belly fat that i didn't have before.
i have three pounds of extra weight left to lose.

my mind.
one step ahead.
more organized than before.
focused on Rowan's needs over my own.
blurred as I constantly re-live the moments leading up to Rowan's birth
and the few days after that.
amazed that I birthed such a beautiful baby.
boggled that I could love something so much.
thankful to God for our child.
in awe of how the love for my husband and my God have grown.

my heart.
so full...of love, joy, pride, and absolute awe.
of full of love for my family, friends, husband, and Lord.
humbled as I realize how much my parents love me.
renewed and refreshed as I realize how much my God loves me.
overflowing with love for my baby boy.

I never imagined motherhood would feel the way it does.
How it would change me.
I just thought it would change life in general...
my routine,
my comings and goings,
my schedule,
but instead it has changed me.

If you will remember with me that
Rowan was a surprise to me and Alan.
Not a surprise to God.
He knows what we need,
when we need it,
and exactly how we need it.
What a wonderful surprise!
Thank you Lord!

I feel so overwhelmingly blessed that
God has allowed me to be Rowan's momma.

For I am changed.

I will never be the same.

4 comments:

Shauna said...

Oh, Hollie! I absolutely love this post!
It's real, it's honest and it's pure!

You couldn't have stated it better!

And you're 100% right--you did birth an absolute beautiful baby boy! He's perfect in every way!

Isn't motherhood wonderful? And I tell yah, babies are the biggest time-wasters, you can literally sit there for hours on end and just stare in amazement at their cute little faces.

Chris, Lauren and Gage said...

WOW- I sit here and cry- tears of pride and joy over you my dearest and bestest friend. Once you have a baby you want to explain how it feels to someone else, you want them to feel it too, and you just can't...not until they are there too. You are so right- God knows just what we need and when we need it...I reflect too over the birth of my beautiful baby boy- they are each one a miracle of God! I am excited that we are on this journey of "motherhood" together. It not only changes your relationship with your Lord, your husband, and your family, but also your friends, and as you stated, it changes you! I am so proud of the changes God is making in you- you are right- you will never be the same! I love you am oh so proud to call you my friend and my sister in Christ!

steph said...

...more than we could ask or imagine.....

thebraggbook said...

"fabulously written" indeed. It made me reflect back on the births of my babies. I can't believe Drew will be one in three weeks. I can't wait to see you.