precious boy!

changed.

that word is all I can think about tonight as I reflect

on the past week of my life.

what has changed you might ask?

my body.

i have several stretch marks below my belly button.

i have boobs filled with milk for my baby boy.

i finally have skinny ankles and narrow feet again.
i have stitches to remind me of the hard work it took to get Rowan here.

i have some extra jiggly belly fat that i didn't have before.

i have three pounds of extra weight left to lose.

my mind.

one step ahead.

more organized than before.

focused on Rowan's needs over my own.
blurred as I constantly re-live the moments leading up to Rowan's birth

and the few days after that.

amazed that I birthed such a beautiful baby.

boggled that I could love something so much.

thankful to God for our child.

in awe of how the love for my husband and my God have grown.

my heart.

so full...of love, joy, pride, and absolute awe.

of full of love for my family, friends, husband, and Lord.

humbled as I realize how much my parents love me.

renewed and refreshed as I realize how much my God loves me.

overflowing with love for my baby boy.

I never imagined motherhood would feel the way it does.

How it would change me.

I just thought it would change life in general...

my routine,

my comings and goings,

my schedule,

but instead it has changed me.

If you will remember with me that
Rowan was a surprise to me and Alan.

Not a surprise to God.

He knows what we need,

when we need it,

and exactly how we need it.

What a wonderful surprise!

Thank you Lord!

I feel so overwhelmingly blessed that

God has allowed me to be Rowan's momma.

For I am changed.

I will never be the same.

the BIG day...

is finally here.

It feels very surreal, knowing that in a matter of
hours I will have a new title.

MOM. Momma. Mother. Mommy.

The next time I blog I will be sharing with you
pictures of my precious, God-given, blessing.

Our Rowan.

I got some decent sleep.
Up every hour. But that's nothing new.
I feel much calmer and more at peace today than yesterday.
I wasn't much short of a basketcase yesterday. :/

Pray with us today that everything
will go smoothly as we welcome our son into this world.

What an amazing adventure this has been!

What an amazing adventure this will be!

What an amazing opportunity to bring life into this world!

We are so blessed!

tomorrow...

is the big day I suppose...
that is if Rowan doesn't decide
to surprise us tonight.

We are being induced.

I have known since Thursday morning
about our induction, but I was hoping
that our little man would come on his own before then.
That's why I haven't mentioned it.

I am nervous, anxious, excited, overwhelmed...and the list
goes on. I just hope we are doing the right thing.

I am so ready to lay my eyes upon our beautiful baby boy!

Please be in prayer for us.
For good sleep tonight.
For a smooth, not difficult labor process.
For a healthy baby boy.

We can't wait to share pictures of him!

We just cleaned the entire apartment.
My family is on their way.
Alan and I are going out to eat.
Our last meal before Rowan.

I suppose things will never be the same!

hanging out...

waiting for Rowan.

Alan let me sleep till 11:20.

12 hours of sleep is a beautiful thing for anyone,

but especially a very round and ripe pregnant woman.

Got up, and showered.

Headed to Lowes,

then to the mall to "walk him out".

Chick-fil-a for lunch. Yum-Yum.

Then to Kroger for a few groceries.

Back home.

Nap time.

Alan went and got me a watermelon and some
boiled peanuts while I was asleep.
Two of my favorite things!

Up from my nap...
Fixed the front of Rowan's baby book.
As you can see from the picture there is a
square opening for a picture.
However since Rowan is not here yet...
I made a light blue monogram to put in there.
And I may just leave it!
It looks precious!
And about that baby book, I promise
myself to keep up with that thing.
My momma didn't fill mine out because
she said her handwriting wasn't good.
But I refuse. I want it filled to the brim.
Rowan's future wife (gasp) just may be interested
in it or perhaps Rowan himself.

My older sister Paige and I were talking on the phone

last night. (surprise). She told me 2 funny stories.

One involves my youngest nephew Cade, TLC's Baby Story, and sleep.

Of course there has been alot of talk about babies around their house.

But my sister wanted him to watch A Baby Story with her.

So they watched it the other day.

He saw the lady pushing and pushing until the baby came out.

(Of course nothing grusome was shown and he already knows

girls have a special opening for babies to be born.

He learned this earlier this year when their dog Chloe had puppies.

He just hasn't asked how the baby got there yet. :) )

Well, that night my sister went to bed at 8:30.

Cade kept coming in her room saying he couldn't fall asleep.

The next day he said "Mom, the reason I couldn't fall asleep was

because I was worried about Hollie having Rowan."

We thought it was both cute and sweet.

The other funny story is a comment my brother-in-law

made to my sister. He told her that I have her in prison. Haha.

She really hasn't been going anywhere, (which is not like

my sister at all) and their bags

have been packed for about a week now.

Everyone is on standby, just waiting for the call that Rowan is on his way.

So, I am her "warden" and she has to frequently call and check in with me.

Well, that's all I have for now.

just plain miserable...

it's 7:19 a.m.
I'm wide awake.
Layed down on the couch at 3:00.
Serious itching all over.
Can't get comfortable.
Still up at 3:30.
Hot then cold.
Still up at 4:00.
Up to the bathroom at 5:33.
Alan will be up soon.
Up at 6:30.
Hear Alan in the shower.
Stomach killing me.
Back to the bathroom.
Still itching.
Trying not to be frustrated.
Trying not to complain.
But I'm exhausted.
Should have taken Benadryl.
Should have skipped my naps yesterday.
I'm just plain miserable.

Maybe today will be the day!

July 17th.

39 weeks and 1 day.

While I was awake last night I straightened the apt.
Washed a load of clothes.
Painted my fingernails.
Blogged.
Read.
Watched HGTV.
Started filling out Rowan's baby book. All my parts are complete.

Six things that make me happy...

I was tagged by Elizabeth...

Elizabeth and I met when I moved to San Antonio, Texas. We
were in 8th grade. After 8th grade we went to different high schools
and she became friends with my good friend, Laura.
So, we kinda keep in touch through Laura.
Then came facebook...and now blogging.
She is the wife to a smart guy, momma to 2 precious
kiddos, she is crafty and likes to cook, and she is a Christian!
I read her blog almost everyday!

So anyways, here are my 6 things that make me happy...

1. Knowing that I will soon have a precious little
boy in my arms. Period.
Can't wait to see him, kiss him, smell him,
hold him, cuddle him, get to know him...etc!

2. Baking. I enjoy making sweets for my
people to eat. I love trying new recipes.
I love wearing out good recipes.
For me it's my labor of love!

3. School supplies. I love
notebooks, journals, binders, markers,
Sharpies, pens, post-it notes and all that good stuff.
When I see Target and Wal-mart putting
their Back-to-school displays up, I can
hardly wait to see what cute things they have out
for the year!

4. Clean sheets. Clean dishes. Clean house.
I love everything to be clean actually.
It really puts me at ease when my surroundings
are neat, straightened, and clean.
Sometimes this gets the worst of me. :(

5. Mail. I love getting snail mail.
(Thanks Sarah T. for the card I recieved today.)
I love getting e-mail.
I love blog comments.
Especially out of the blue.
I try to be a good mail sender, but
lately I have been slacking.

6. Blogging. It's therapy for me.
It's a creative outlet.
It's a way to keep in touch.
2.5 years and going strong!

We are officially 39 weeks...very close to 39 weeks
and 1 day.
Rowan must be very cozy...

baking today...

So, today I promised myself I would do something I really
enjoy. Forget ironing, laundry, vacuuming etc...well, I did all that
too. But, this morning I made the M&M pretzel treats.
It was my first time making them.
Now I think I am hooked.
If you want directions let me know.

Then this afternoon I made cupcakes.
White cupcakes with chocolate icing
and an M&M on top!

Alan has been enjoying them both since he got home!

I have been having lots of cramping,

abdominal pain, and back pain this afternoon.

I layed down to rest and ended up falling asleep

for a couple of hours.

Hopefully this means my body is preparing

even more for Rowan's arrival!

still here...still pregnant!

38 weeks, 5.75 days.
Our doctors appointment went well today!
We learned I am 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced.
Dr. Carlton predicts we will have a baby in the next 2-3 days!
I realize he is not God and doesn't truly know when
Rowan will arrive, but he does see very pregnant women every day!
I hope his prediction is right!

Our bags are packed.
Rowan's bag is packed.
The carseat is in the car.
The "He's here!" goodies I made are complete. (pictures later)
The wreath for the hospital door is finished. (pictures later)
Birth announcement envelopes are addressed.
Birth announcements are picked out. (pictures later)
The camera and video camera batteries are charged.
The iPod has relaxing music loaded on it.

We are READY!

I have had a hard time sleeping for about the last week.
I fixed that last night, and plan to do the same tonight.
I took Benadryl 50 mg, took a hot shower, took a Zantac, and
I slept a whopping 9.5 hours.
It was so good to sleep!
The doctor encouraged me to do the same thing every night until he comes!

At 1:00, 2:00, 3:00 and 4:00 a.m. I was woken up by
contractions. I layed there for a few minutes thinking
"Is this it?", "Should I wake him up?", "Should I call the doctor?"...
But, then I drifted off to sleep.
At one point I woke Alan up and told him I was having contractions,
and asked him what I should do... He mumbled,
"if they get stronger and closer together, I'll take you to the hospital".
Well, duh.
The boy is tired, what can I say.
We laughed about it this morning!

Well, it's getting late, it's Benadryl time. Night Night!

I'll keep y'all posted!

house still for sale...

Alan took this picture of our house the day
after we moved out.

I miss our little house!

We have a couple coming to look for the second time
this weekend.
They are bringing their parents with them to look.

We are praying these are the ONES!

where to start?

First of all I gotta say thank you to my sweet hubby
for getting the internet for us!
I didn't even beg or complain about not having it...
ok maybe once or twice, but not relentlessly.
With all of my family out of town, and lots of friends spread
out across the U.S. I have felt a little disconnected without
the world wide web.
We got a great deal, and so far it's pretty fast!

Ok, now for details about this pregnancy.
We are really ready for our little boy to arrive.
Today marks 38 weeks! I can't believe it.
I remember thinking July seems so far away.

On the morning of June 30th, while at work,
we checked my blood pressure. It was 135/99.
My nurse/tech friends were worried about me.
I guess I looked horrible because everyone was
looking at me like "aww...you poor thing".
My feet have been swelling for months now, but
this day they were "thankles".
As big around as my thighs...and if you have
seen my thighs lately...YIKES!
I already had a drs. appointment scheduled for
the next day.
They were telling me I probably wouldn't be back to work.
I was telling them they were probably wrong. :)

So we go to the doctor the afternoon of July 1st.
My blood pressure is 130 something over 80 something.
I have protein in my urine.
I have swollen ankles and legs.
I feel like a doo-doo sandwich. (Sorry).
I am dilated 1 cm, 50% effaced.

And guess what...I'm taken out of work.

He doesn't put me on bedrest just tells me to
rest, rest, rest, drink lots of clear liquids, take short walks,
and take it easy.
He tells me that if things aren't any different next week
we might need to intervene...or induce either on the 8th or 9th.

Well, I go back to the doctor on Monday.
My blood pressure is normal.
He doesn't mention anything about protein in my urine.
Minimal swelling.
I feel much better.
No change in dilation or effacement.

So, we have an appointment next Tuesday
and we will go from there.
I don't really want to be induced, but
I can't help but think about the maternity leave
that is passing by.
I'd rather let things progess normally as
God designed.
So, maybe I will just go in to labor on my own.
That's what we are praying for.

We have Rowan's room ready.
Alan is working on one more accent for his room.
It is very close to being finished.
I need to take and post pictures here soon.
We were blessed to get everything we need
for Rowan at baby showers.
Just waiting on him.

Hi!

Alan and I are all settled in at the apartment.
Life is good! Great actually!
Rowan's room is fixed up and just looks precious!
I wish you all could see!
Things are continuing to go well with the pregnancy!
I'm still working and taking call at work!
We are looking forward to meeting our little one sometime
in the next month.
We are very close to deciding on a church home.
Things are really coming together!

Thanks for your prayers!

We don't have internet at the apartment...
not sure when we will have it up and running again?!?

Moving day!

It's finally here!

I am thrilled!

On my way to meet Alan and the movers
at the apartment!

and my cup overflows...

in more ways than one...

We had another wonderful shower on Saturday morning.
Great friends.
Good food...especially the petit fours.
Awesome gifts.
I especially enjoyed my belly being rubbed on! :)
Libby and Lauren throw a mean shower! :)
We are blessed to have such precious friends.
My cup overflows...

Saturday afternoon we closed on our apartment!
Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never thought I would be as excited as I am to live in a
2 bedroom, 1 bath, 1300 sq. ft. little abode.
But I feel as blessed as ever, and thrilled to have a place to call our own.
It feels and looks like a palace to me.
Because of our excitement...we decided to spend
the night in our apartment on a queen-sized air mattress.
Let's just say pregnant women and air mattresses don't mix.
However we made memories that we can look back and laugh about.
It is so quiet at the apartment.
It is so clean and open.
Everything is white which will take getting used too,
but immaculately clean!
It is wonderful to have the thermostat set on 68!
(Rowan and his dad are very happy about this,
because Mommy is much happier!) I just called myself Mommy.
It is wonderful to have privacy.
It is wonderful to have our own shower. toilet. sink. etc.
It is wonderful to open our blinds and let sunshine in.
It is wonderful to organize and have room for our stuff again.
It is wonderful to have Alan and Hollie time.
It is wonderful to peer in the room that belongs to our precious
little baby boy and see his crib almost ready for him.
It is wonderful to play my iPod and not have to wonder if it is too loud.
It is just wonderful all together...if you ask me.
My cup overflows...

Alan got the crib put up...eeekkkk! It's so precious.
I can't wait to put the mattress on it and put the bedding on it.
He also put the swing together.
He would have put together the high chair if I would have let him!
I'm so glad my husband is so excited and eager about having a baby!
My cup overflows...

Sunday afternoon we headed to our house for one final time.
It was wonderful to sleep in our bed... we all had a much better night!
I looked around our house Saturday night thinking about all
the memories we have created there.
As if there aren't enough emotions wreaking havoc right now...
It was our first home...
One we loved.
One that we made our own.
On the way back from Wal-mart last night...
I burst into tears.
Partly because I am a little stressed, emotional, and exhausted
but also because it's hard to say goodbye.
No matter how ready you are for the next chapter of life...
it's hard to say goodbye.
No matter the fact that the house has been a "thorn in my side"
because of it not selling...it's still hard to say goodbye.
But my cup overflows still....

This morning the team of packers from the moving company
showed up at 8:30.
The team consisted of Tim, James, and Todd.
They are angels in my eyes.
They took good care of our things,
and packed our entire house, garage, and shed by 3:30.
I layed on the couch with my marshmellows, I mean feet, elevated
while they worked.
They will be back tomorrow morning to load everything up.
I can't tell you how thankful I am to have them!!!
My cup overflows...

Now...I don't think I am far enough past our situation to
see exactly how or why things worked out the way they did.
However...I do know that God has always known this exact plan.
He knew he had those jobs for us in Warner Robins.
He knew we would get pregnant in October.
He knew it would be June 8, 2009 and our house would still be on the market.
(And he knows when it WILL sell).
He knew we would be packing and moving into an apartment this week.

And you know what...I'm happy as a clam right now...
and I wonder if maybe God wanted us to endure for a little while...
so he could bless us with something
we never would have chosen for ourselves.
Bless us the way he wanted to bless us.
An unexpected pregnancy while living with the in-laws...
A little apartment to start our little family in...
And moving while 8 months pregnant.

I feel very blessed...
My cup overflows...
Stay tuned...

in the next 7.5 weeks...

5 days till we have another baby shower!

5 days till we "close" on our apartment.

7 days till the movers come to our house.

9 days till they unload our stuff.

9 days till we get to sleep in our bed again!

11 days till Rowan's furniture is delivered.

15 days till we have another doctors appointment.

52 days till our due date!

Things are busy around here...

8 more weeks & 13 more days...

I can't believe I am 32 weeks pregnant!
The doctor told me that we will be "out of the woods"
in three weeks. At 35 weeks, Rowan should be able
to breathe on his own and do well.
Am I ready in three weeks, no, but I don't think
he will be making an early appearance.
But I realize I can't control this either...
and we will welcome our little one whenever he is ready!
He also thinks Rowan's head is already down.
Of course he still has room to move around...
so he could flip, but without a doubt the time
is drawing near.

Isn't it crazy how God creates the baby

and then things occur naturally in preparation

for a baby's arrival. It's truly amazing!
I go back to the doctor on June 16th.
Then I think we start going every week.

I have been having extreme heartburn.
It wakes me up at night and I fight it during the day.
I am trying to stay away from medication for it.
I just keep picturing Rowan as a hairy little monkey baby!

13 more days until our official move in date!
Can I just say I am about to explode with excitement!
The chair for the nursery is in!
The bedroom suite was shipping from Atlanta yesterday!
So they will be able to deliver it as soon as we get in.
How perfect did that turn out?
I am ready to get in that nursery and play!

We are headed back to Alabama for the weekend.
My Maw-Maw is turning 80 on Saturday!
We are throwing her a Brunch Birthday Celebration
tomorrow morning from 10-12.
We have been planning it for many weeks,
so of course we are excited that it is finally here.

Well, I better get going.
I have errands to run!

overflow.

Shelli, a friend of mine from work, wrote in one of my cards today...
"You will love being a momma to a little boy. Your heart will overflow."

It stuck with me...just thought it was so sweet!
(And I'm already finding that to be true.)

But, there are other parts of my life, right now,
where I feel like my heart is overflowing...

- realizing I will be a momma in less than 2 months.

- looking forward to June 10th...the first night

I will get to sleep in my bed in Warner Robins, GA!

- learning that grace in marriage goes far.

-learning that humbling yourself in marriage takes guts,

but has great rewards. (note: this was Alan, not me)

- being so overwhelmed today as my co-workers showered me with love and gifts today!

- being reassured at the doctor today as he told me my 3 hour GTT was normal.

- being reminded that God really does have it all under control.

Why can't I just get out of the way?

- hearing Rowan's little heart beating away.

- my husband going to my doctors appointment with me,

along with making all of our moving plans, e-mailing people,

getting documents faxed, etc.

He totally provides a sense of security and provision for me.

- And God putting the puzzle of our lives together...

one piece at a time.

He is good!

Now, I think I'll go to bed!

but don't get crazy...

three posts in one day...

i know i'm getting crazy!

more baby stuff...

We made a trip to Motherhood this weekend.
I picked out this gown and robe to wear
when we are at the hospital when Rowan is born.
I liked it because it is baby blue.

I bought Rowan's baby book last week.

I didn't think I needed it before he was born,

but then I was reminded about

having his footprints done when he is born.

Also, there is a page for visitors at the hospital to sign!

This is the same book I bought for Gage.

Libby also has this baby book for Luke!

It is adorable...inside and out!

My Paw-Paw and his wife gave Alan
and I some money to get some baby things
we wanted...so...
I ordered this adorable diaper bag from
Land's End.
I got it for about 65% off and free shipping!
I got his name put on it too!

I also ordered this Lullaby SoundSpa.
(This is what the company says about it...
because I am having a hard time describing it...)
Click on the sentence above.
Gage also has one of these and loves it...
so Rowan had to have one too. :)

I never imagined I would be so excited about baby stuff...

it just makes it feel so real!

in the past two weeks I/we...

(for those of you who are wondering where I've been)

got a new cell phone.

got a new cell phone number.

took a trip to Alabama.

had my first baby shower. So sweet!

continued helping with the planning of my Maw-Maw's 80th Birthday Celebration.

took my Glucose Tolerance Test.

found out I failed my GTT.

took the 3 hour GTT.

celebrated our 4 year Anniversary.

realized our house isn't going to sell in time.

looked for a place to live.

found a place to live.

signed a lease on a place to live.

took a trip to our house, possibly for the last time, (with our stuff still in it).

decided what goes to the apartment.

decided what goes to storage.

asked my sister and her family to be a long term pet-sitter for
Dixie while we live in the apartment.

prayed for my Paw-Paw who had a mini-stroke last Thursday.
He is doing great!

cooked dinner two nights in a row...at home!

worked my regular scheduled hours.

made lists like this one...except they say "to-do"!

Yes, we have been very busy.
Yes, I am beginning to feel very tired.
Yes, we finally have a move-in date... JUNE 9th!
I still feel very overwhelmed with all that we have yet to do!
But I am so EXCITED that we are finally going to
have an address of our own again!
The apartment is a spacious 2 bedroom/1 bath on the ground level.
(The only ground level apt. they had available...
I will be so thankful not to climb stairs with a baby/stroller/carseat in tow!)
It is only a 1 1/2 years old.
The living room/kitchen/breakfast area/sunroom are
open to each other.
We have figured out that all of our bedroom furniture,
living room furniture, and our kitchen table and chairs will fit.
Rowan's furniture should be in the week we move.
So it can be delivered there.
I think Alan and I both are most excited about his room!

This weekend I did alot of sleeping, laying around, and relaxing.
(Momma is feeling a little worn down.)
Alan took Friday off so we headed home and we didn't get
back until tonight. I enjoyed spending time with my honey.
I can't wait till it is just the two of us again...
It's been a long time coming!

So, things don't always exactly turn out exactly how you plan...
but in the end it is all working out...
I think...
Just check back with me in about two more weeks!

baby shower...

May 16, 2009. 11am.

Thrown by my momma and my sister.

Family and very special friends from Alabama attended.

We had pimento cheese crossaints,

chicken salad crossaints,

grape salad,

Asian slaw,
cupcakes,
and yummy lemonade.

Momma made this seersucker table runner!
Those carnations are in my momma's
glass bottles from when she was a baby!
I loved the table decorations!

My sister and I have these plates!
We love to change out the message
for the occasion!
I didn't want them to erase this little
message!

Gifts! (sorry, it's blurry)

Cupcakes with sweet little "R's" for Rowan!

A great time was had by all!

We got lots of goodies!
We are so blessed to be showered so
graciously by our family and friends.

Two more months...

monograms and more...

Our doctors appointment went great today.

We should know the results of the GTT

by the end of the week.

Rowan's heartbeat was good and strong.

I am measuring right on target.

I start going every two weeks now!!!

Our next appointment is May 27th!

Everyday I can't believe it...

After the appointment I went to pick

up the stuff I dropped off to be monogrammed.

I think it all turned out very cute!

I love, love, love, the pillow!

I bought this bib! Thought it was too precious to leave behind!

This afternoon Alan and I are going to the eye doctor for eye exams. My glasses have been broken for years, I think. I CANNOT see anything but outlines without my contacts in! I realized the other day that this would make things difficult with a brand new baby arriving soon since I will be the one nursing him several times a night. I dare not think I will be putting my contacts in every time he wakes up! So, I'm off to get new glasses today.

Another door closed with the house...Praying for another one to FLY open!

prepared childbirth...

My thoughts tonight as I stood there
looking at that empty Labor and Delivery bed...

Holy crap, we're about to have a baby...
and I gotta push him out...
possibly in this room,
right here,
in this very room...

Whoa...its becoming very real!

73 more days!

House update, Mother's Day, baby update...

My last post sounds so whiney and depressing.
I knew it when I wrote it, but now a week later it
sounds even worse. :(
Some days are good, some days are bad.
That's life I suppose.
Hopefully this will be behind us soon!!!

No news on the house.
We are working on something that will hopefully
help us get our house sold soon!
Don't want to say too much...
and honestly...
I feel like we (I) are beating a dead horse here.

Today has been a great day.
Alan gave me a card when I woke up
with a sweet note in it (my favorite part).
He also gave me a gift certificate for a manicure
and pedicure.
The perfect gift for a "30 week" pregnant girl.
My feet are swollen up like marshmellows!
We went out for Chinese after church for
the second day in a row.
Our waiter was the first stranger to notice that
I'm pregnant!!! I have really just started to show!

I really can't believe I will be a momma in
about 10 weeks now! Time is flying by.
I go back to the doctor on Tuesday for
the GTT and a regular check up.
Then I guess we will go back at 34 weeks...
then every 2 weeks...
then every week...
Did I mention that time is flying!
We continue to be thankful for good
health for Rowan and me.
I feel wonderful, despite the swelling.

This weekend is the starting of our baby showers!
Mom and Paige are doing a luncheon at Mom and Dad's
house for family and family friends!
I am excited about seeing everyone.

I have been on call this weekend...so I didn't get to
see my "mother dearest" as I used to say when I was little.
I can't wait to see her next weekend...
and take her the rest of her gift!
The older I get the more I realize how much
she loves us and how much she has done for us!
Alan and I gave our mom's a Rowan brag book!
I printed some of our 3D/4D pictures to go in it for now.

Happy Mother's Day all of you Momma's and Momma's to be!

Love you Momma!

feeling forgotten...

So, our house has been on the market for almost 365 days...
that equals 1 WHOLE year for those
of you who didn't know that.
And that also means we have been waiting, praying,
and hoping for a year.
And living here for a year.

READY is an understatment of how I feel right now.
Ready to have a place of our own.
Ready to nest.
Ready to finally feel "at home".
Ready to get ready for our baby boy.
Ready to spend lots of quality alone time with Alan.

Alan's sister and her husband have had their house on the market...
for not very long at all...and guess what...they have a contract.

A friend of mine that lives in Kansas had their house for sale by
owner for, get this, ONE day...and guess what...they have a contract.

Now I'm not saying that they weren't ready to sell their homes,
because obviously if you have a house on the market you want it to sell.

I just feel like we are SO MUCH MORE ready.
Neither family is expecting a baby in 11 weeks...
and neither family has been living with their in-laws for almost 10 months.

It's so hard to not be envious, or bitter, or angry.

What are we doing wrong?
Or what did they do right?

It's hard not to question God's plan for us...
Doesn't He know what we are going through...
Doesn't He know that we want to be good stewards of our money...
Doesn't He know the desires of our hearts.

It's so hard to be positive. Optimistic. Hopeful.
It's so hard to NOT worry. not stress. or not be overwhelmed.

Most days I am positive and I sleep well at night.
But some days I just gotta be real with myself.

I'm tired, I'm anxious, I'm frustrated, and I am losing hope.

I can't wait for the day when I can get on this blog and post
the news that our house is under contract...I'm praying it's soon!

And I am mature enough in my faith to know (in my head) that...
God isn't punishing us,
that He is still in control,
that He can still work miracles,
that His promises for us are true.
that He has us here for a reason.

Pray that I can believe all these things in my heart!

Does anybody feel me?
Does anybody have a similar situation?